I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
