so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize