Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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