dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Randomize
