The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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