I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
