Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i drank out of a bidet.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
