I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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