you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
