You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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