I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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