Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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