i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
