why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
