It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
