dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
