They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Dick very happy bro
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