what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
