Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
