i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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