I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
