it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
