Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I need moral support for this bender
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
