i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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