Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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