Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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