i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
