you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
