I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
