At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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