thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You smell like a Billy Joel song
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
