She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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