Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize