After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
