You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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