just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
