Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Will exercising make me less horny?
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