your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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