last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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