what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
