quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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