Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
