I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
