you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
