God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
