i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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