I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Bring me that man meat
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize