what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
