If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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