butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
