Betty ford says i'm here all night
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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