If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
