This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
