just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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