just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
