the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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