Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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