Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
