Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is it because I queefed?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
